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When staying in marriage because of the children becomes a ‘sacrifice’

Elizabeth Badejo

It’s Saturday morning again, after working five days a week, you would expect to have a good lie in together with a nice cup of tea but this is far from the realities of parenting when you both have to chaperone your children to their various weekend activities when you really should be taking time out.

The challenges parents face day in day out and the many sacrifices they have to make at the cost of their own freedom and sometimes marriage are the simple reason why many couples today have chosen not to have children. On the other hand, many are of the opinion that it is necessary to have children as a legacy and extension of the human race. All in all, many couples find comfort and love in the joy that family brings today.

What is true love?

True love is giving a part of you to another; it is self-sacrificing in marriage which gradually becomes a norm when you both become parents. Just like childbirth, the pains and sufferings were severe but it’s a conscious decision and collaboration between you and your spouse to have children regardless of the emotional effects on you and your marriage, the choices were made out of true love.

The truth is children receive better support from having a mother and a father as each child’s gender needs are met individually; it’s definitely worth the sacrifice when you both understand the downsides.

Whose interest comes first?

Life will be different when you sign up to become parents and as good parents, you have an obligation to work out your problems first and foremost for the sake of your children, if not for your own sake and staying in marriage is indeed necessary if it will threaten the joy and stability of your children in the end.  It is like an extension of your own decisions to raise your child in the way and manner you would expect them to replicate you when they become parents too, it’s a sacrifice worth making.

Conflict of opinion

Perhaps you get some conflicting opinions about your choice to stay in your marriage for the sake of your children and you are wondering if you have made the right decision or not, you are obviously not sure about what you really want if you are not doing it with self-determination, dedication and appreciation. It’s important to know where your obligations and loyalty lie, either in yourself, your spouse, your marriage or the wellbeing of your children, yes it may feel more limited but it’s certainly a price you have to pay to satisfy other desires other than yours alone.

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